Saturday, August 6, 2016

The DarlingClandestine Fragrance Discography, Alphabetical Edition



Hello, gorgeouses! As the DarlingClandestine fragrance discography keeps growing, I’m continually looking for new ways to make the collection more manageable. This catalog is here to give you a handy reference to each fragrance and an estimate of when to expect to see them in the shop again.



Each scent requires a painstaking gathering of ingredients and weeks of steeping, not to mention the reprinting of labels and ordering of bottles and other supplies, and all of these things require $$$ and time. Your input—and hard sales numbers—help me decide which fragrances to bring back each season.


This version of the Discography appears in alphabetical order, and I’ve updated some of the boss levels and gender preferences. I plan to do a better job of keeping it updated than I did with the older Discography at Facebook.com/DarlingClandestine. (Like I could do worse, amirite? :P ) But please do stay tuned on Facebook for the latest announcements about upcoming releases! I also want to give a shoutout to DC friend Kellie, who kicked my ass into gear and *did* update the Facebook-housed Discography a few times when I dragged my feet on it. But, as many of you may have noticed, I ran distracted and failed to seek out Kellie’s services for several months while I kept cranking out new fragrances. ANYWAY, SORRY ABOUT THAT GUYS




The seasons I have listed for these fragrances are a general guide. Sometimes a fragrance will appear out of season as a surprise or because the stars align. The releases usually happen a few weeks before the calendar season has officially begun, to give you time to receive your goods and wear them for the full season; e.g., the summer release appears in late spring and so on. And, of course, the season I refer to is the one on *my* part of the planetAustralia, you know what’s up. ;)


And a few fragrances are marked “Calliope Crash/General Catalog”; these are fragrances that appear fairly frequently throughout the year, usually between seasonal releases. If you don’t see a General Catalog fragrance in the shop right now, chances are it’ll be back in a few weeks. Feel free to ask, and I’ll give you the best estimate I have! Please note that I *am* currently rethinking which fragrances will be part of my general catalog, and some scents may slide from GC status to seasonal status and vice versa.


HERE’S A GUIDE TO THE CATEGORIES/QUALIFIERS LISTED UNDER EACH FRAGRANCE:


Suite: These are here to help you narrow down choices according to the kinds of fragrances you already dig. Because they’re very complex, many of my fragrances cross over into multiple categories, and I often hear customers saying things like, “I never was really a fan of aquatics, but this fragrance is deeper and darker than the other aquatic fragrances I’ve tried,” or “Even though this fragrance is fruity and sweet, it has a crisp quality that keeps it from being too cloying.” Oh, and although floral notes often come into play in DC creations, they’re almost never your traditional heavy “grandmotherly” floral—they’re part of a more complex tapestry and are great surprises for folks who usually dislike florals. They’re all over the spectrum of these four categories.
-    Hot suite: Spicy, peppery, tangy, citrusy, and/or bright fragrances.
-    Wet suite: “Green,” blue, aquatic, sandy, ozoney, effervescent and/or leafy fragrances.
-    Deep suite: Earthy, musky, mossy, woody, herbal, and/or especially complex fragrances.
-    Sweet suite: Gourmand fragrances—creamy, chocolatey, nutty, and/or prominently fruity.


Traditional gender preference: Honestly, I'm not really a fan of categorizing fragrances by gender. I believe the vast majority of my fragrances, even the “florals,” can be considered truly unisex—equally wearable by folks of any gender. I don’t much care whether a fragrance counts as “masculine” or “feminine”. I think that fragrance is for everybody, and it’s very much a matter of personal taste. (Enter Jeff Goldblum with a quip about pulling up dinosaurs’ skirts.) And personally, even though I’m a gal, I generally prefer to wear scents that are traditionally called “masculine.” But I do understand that some folks use gender preference as a guideline for how a fragrance might unfold on their skin, and that’s the purpose of these categories. Please keep in mind that you might disagree with my categorization based on your own preferences, skin constitution, sense of smell, culture, and experiences!
Boss level: Let’s be honest: DarlingClandestine fragrances can be downright weird, and I know you like it that way. :) But if you’re cautious, or concerned that you might smell a little *too* original, you can use the “boss level” to gauge how daring you are. I’ve developed this scale based on customer feedback, the unusual-ness of my ingredients, and the unusual-ness of the customers giving the feedback, lol. And because I’m continually receiving new feedback, these boss levels are subject to change! In fact, several of the fragrances on this list have a boss level that’s different from the ones they had on the Facebook Discography. 1 = “pretty safe/will definitely pass for perfume”; 10 = “omg why do you smell like you’ve been rolling in stars and destiny and gasoline”.


WHAT WHAT, FORMATS?
My fragrances come in a variety of different formats and products. The general catalog scents are traditionally available in 15 mL glass bottles as well as “Bitsy” vials—Bitsies are 1-dram glass vials with convenient screw-on caps, with brown paper labels stamped with the image of my choice and the name of the fragrance written by hand. Newer releases most often appear in 10 mL glass bottles with orifice reducer caps, and sometimes also in “ITSY-Bitsy” vials, tiny ½ dram glass vials with screw-on caps and custom labels. I also periodically offer solid fragrances, in ½ ounce metal tins or Bitsy-sized plastic pots. But longtime customers know that I like to surprise you with new formats and packaging. From time to time I’ll also offer body balms—rich, creamy balms with an avocado butter base—and Sharkfeather Silk, a lightweight dry oil spray for skin and hair. These can be fragranced with the offerings currently in my inventory. Aaaand of course there’s a variety of other limited-edition bottles and solids that are subject to my ever-changing whims. ;)



A NOTE ABOUT "NOTES".
Folks ask me why I often use stories and descriptions instead of a standard list of “notes” to describe my fragrances. I have a few reasons for being vague on notes. One, to discourage folks from thinking that “notes” are synonymous with “ingredients”. DC fragrances are waaaaay more complicated than that. Two, to keep folks open-minded about notes they think they “hate”. One of my favorite ways to begin a fragrance is to build a dichotomy into the blend, bringing a note you thought you knew into a completely different light. And three, because a list of notes does NOT tell you what the fragrance smells like in its completeness.


There are many fragrance manufacturers out there that supply natural and synthetic fragrance supplies to me and my fellow perfumers. Their offerings are vast. I imagine that for some crafters, making a fragrance that features notes of, say, vanilla, jasmine, and sandalwood involves simply taking “vanilla”, “jasmine”, and “sandalwood” commercial fragrance oils and mixing them together in a pleasing measure . . . and there you have the fragrance. Often the results are beautiful, and everything’s cool. But that’s not really what I do. To me that seems too easy, and if things are too easy, I tend to be unsatisfied, or worry that it isn’t “art”. If I do mention notes in my fragrances, please don’t think that creating them was simply a matter of mixing commercial fragrance oils of the same name. While I do employ single-note commercial fragrance oils, those individual ingredients are part of a much more complex tapestry of blending.


Sometimes, when reviewing a fragrance, folks will go down the list of notes as though it were a checklist, and say, “Well, I can definitely smell the W, but I don’t really smell the X. Ah, there is the Y, and I like Y, but I also smell Z and I don’t like Z.” But a truly inspired fragrance should unfold its various notes in fascinating and surprising ways, not simply smell like all the things on a list, lined up in a row.


I would encourage people to not think so literally when it comes to my fragrances. They’re not supposed to be a “spot the note in the puzzle” game. Descriptive words like “green”, “woody”, “dark”, “crisp”, “warm”, “sweet”, etc. are not there to deceive you—they’re there to give you a better idea of how the fragrance will begin, continue, and finish on your skin.


If it’s difficult to think of this in “indie” terms, think of the big-name fragrance designers. In their ads, they don’t even bother to give you a *hint* of the “notes”—it’s all about evoking emotion. And let’s be honest: When you research the notes on a big-name designer fragrance, even they don’t really give you a solid picture of the fragrance you’ll get. If only the internet had scratch-and-sniff magazine samples. If only I could be a virtual Clinique counter, ambushing you with a squirt of DarlingClandestine as you stroll by on your way to look at handbags!
Okay! ON TO THE SMELLBABIES.


AEQUITAS. Yes. It’s a fragrance inspired by The Boondock Saints. Smoke and blood and a LOT of whiskey and damp alleys and steel and gunpowder and sweat and denim and sweet wooden rosary beads and a bit of clover struggling up through concrete cracks. It is so, so, so sexy. It has a companion, VERITAS, created by Becca at One Hand Washes the Other.
Suite: Wet
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to masculine
Boss level: 7
Season: Spring (Saint Patrick’s Day)



ARAGON. Created for the lovely Kaebryn. Bright, crisp lavender deepened with sea salt and wine, a bit of leather and a touch of chocolate and caramel. Divinely fresh, rich but never cloying.
Suite: Sweet
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 3
Season: Calliope Crash/General Catalog


ARYLIDE. The image is Yellow Cat, by my aunt Pilar Acevedo. “This particular piece was inspired by a child’s fear of an old wives’ tale.” The fragrance is Arylide, a dream painted in yellow. Angelic plumeria and about ten different elements that comprise my take on late-summer sycamore leaves.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 5
Season: Spring




BABY BANKRUPT. Debuted in Autumn 2016, frail urchin beauty in a dark Orwellian horror. Linden blossom, tobacco absolute, pumpkin rind, molten steel.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 7
Season: Autumn


BALLYHOO. A surprising melange of coffee and cream and lime and amber and ozone and a dozen other unlikely bedfellows. Strange and amazing, Ballyhoo is a fan favorite. It originally appeared as a limited-edition fragrance, but DC friends loved it so much I couldn’t bear to take it away.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 5 Season: Autumn


BETE NOIRE. DC friend Hillary had a jones for a fragrance with “a sneeze-worthy amount of black pepper, combined with . . . a fierce floral suitable for nights out.” The result is fierce indeed, with four kinds of pepper grounded in artemisia, greened with herbals and juniper, stretched taut with a sharp bitter carnation, and “purpled” with violets and orchids.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 8
Season: Winter


BICEP OF THE PARROT #42. In an interview on Working with Monolids, I mentioned "Bicep of the Parrot #42" as a fake example of a designer fragrance. Now it's totally real. I kept picturing a green jungle bird in a mosaic of a fountain filled with copper pennies. I dunno, man, that’s just what I pictured, okay? So I went for the metallic overtone of copper, splashing water, high breezes, and an elaborate concoction of sun-baked jungle plants and flowers. So there you have it---description wins over “notes” this time again.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 7
Season: Winter (Saint Valentine’s Day minaret suite)




BIG TOP TRAIN. This very bold, very warm, VERY spicy sweet holiday fragrance debuted in 2010, and that version will never return. Then there was a Big Top Train 2011 (warm, cherry-woody) and a Big Top Train 2013 (sweet resins, a brisk dusting of snow, sugared lemon). In 2015 I unveiled the “Culmination Blend,” which pulled the best aspects of the earlier iterations into one final story.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 10/9/8/7, respectively ;)
Season: Winter (Christmas)


BLUE VALENTINE. Inspired, of course, by Tom Waits, this one will make you die a little more each Saint Valentine’s Day. A moody bouquet of hyacinth and poppies and figs, washed down with whiskey and bitters and delicate musks and mint. Very potent and heady, this is hands-down the fragrance I get the most compliments on from bystanders. “OOH DANG WHAT ARE YOU WEARING YOU SMELL SOOOOO GOOD.” I bring this fragrance back . . . well, you know when.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 6
Season: Winter (Saint Valentine’s Day)

BLUE RUIN: Conceived in early 2016 as a complement to Blue Valentine, this Tom Waits-inspired fragrance is dark and robust, sultry and sombre. It never made an official appearance in the shop, but occasionally it'll turn up as a super-secret gift with purchase. :D


BOSS FIGHT. I couldn't bring myself to rank a fragrance Boss Level 10. Not yet. 'Cause that would be the *final* boss, no? It's the DarlingClandestine dichotomy of conflicting elements, ramped up a bit for the season of summer blockbusters. Had a lot of internal conflict with this one. "No, no, that's too intense; nobody's going to want to wear this anywhere." "Augh, now it's too normal! Folks're gonna think I'm a big ol' hyperbolic dramapants!" I toyed with high-end elements like chypre and amber and teak, added some criminal underbelly with white mushroom and crushed cranberry, and then crashed through the skylight trying to create impressions of humidity-soaked canvas and scorched fabric.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 9.999?
Season: Summer


BOUQUET OF SCORPIONS. Grapefruit served up in a ring of fire. Charred mesquite wood and torched sage smolder like a South Texas summer, finished with a splash of cool agave to dull the edge.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 9
Season: Winter (Saint Valentine’s Day minaret suite)

BRASAO Y KINOLAU. Created for the amazing Liz Azevedo, to celebrate her family roots and mine: Fresh, green, non-Christmasy holly, pink peppercorn and old-world wonders, fused with the maile vines of Hawai'i, spiced with a tiny touch of cinnamon and sweetened with coconut and honey. It's green and tart and languid and floral-but-not-floral and breezy and deep. This lovely makes appearances when she takes a fancy.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 5
Season: Varied


CARNY WEDDING. Opens with the fried-sugar air of the carnival vendor tents, smolders with the charred wood resins of nightfires, ends in a puff of buttery sweet smoke. Some love it for the sweet, some love it for the smoke.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 6
Season: Summer


CIRCASSIAN. Bitter black coffee, spiced chocolate, ceremonial resins, with an intriguing floral note. MUST be sampled on the skin and not just sniffed from the bottle or tin.
Suite: Sweet
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 4
Season: Calliope Crash/General Catalog


CIRCASSIAN, ONE NIGHT IN BANGKOK EDITION. A limited version of Circassian. The rich chocolate and coffee and resins are still there, but the floral notes are rounder, almost raspberry-like.
Suite: Sweet
Traditional gender preference: Feminine
Boss level: 4
Season: Limited edition/varied


CLOUDSWING. A tumble in the hay! Lemongrass and vanilla and resiny wood and marigolds and new-mown clover and sun. A summer favorite—especially since the lemongrass gives it the added bonus of discouraging mosquitoes.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 4
Season: Summer


CLUB 22. I made this as a limited-edition treat for epic DC collectors. It's bubbly! It's crisp and green and sparkly! Effervescent! Coriander and ginger! Lots of secret green things! Champagne-like. Pop pop pop!
Suite: Wet
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 7
Season: Winter


COMA CLUSTER. An all natural botanical solid fragrance featuring classics like dark sweet coffee oil and cocoa absolutes, delicate essence of orange blossom, and an oh-my-you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me dynamite Bulgarian rose otto. Hugs close to the skin, all night, all night. The tops of these perfume tins were wax-stamped with DC's sharktacular logo.
Suite: Deep/Sweet
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 6
Season: Varied




CUDDLEDUCK. Let me tell you about the irresistible, oily, musky, splish-splashy wet feathers and fluffy-snuggly dry feathers scent that is duck. The soaked-in-the-pond-ness and cozy waterproofness that is duck. I highly recommend cuddling a duck daily, but if there is no duck within your immediate reach, grab your Cuddleduck. Made with precious, premium-quality plant extracts---I used NO synthetics in this blend and I didn't squeeze any ducks into it! This is my interpretation of "duck" that is also "perfume", highly suggestive of duck feathers but also perfectly wearable in places sadly lacking in duck. Part of the proceeds of 2015’s Cuddleduck benefited the British Hen Welfare Trust, and I thank you. <3 Cuddleduck was only available in solid fragrance format, in a collectible round wooden box.
Suite: Deep/Wet
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 8
Season: Winter (Christmas)




CURIOSITIES’ BALL. Fascinating black pepper dancing with ozone and bright green leaves. I created this one in celebration of New Year’s Eve, a party in a garden of stone and ivy.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to masculine (this has a small cult following among my male customers)
Boss level: 8
Season: Winter (New Year’s Eve)


DESTINY CHOSE TOOLS. A breath through a dream tunnel, repeating. Delicate rice husk, seared sunflower, blanched aubergine. Soft and ethereal and beckoning.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 4
Season: Autumn


DEWLAP VALENTINE. Created in memory of L Ghost Valentine's beloved iguana Bob, with his favorite things like strawberry and banana and fresh greens, with an undertone that's rather . . . reptilian.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 8
Season: Spring


DON GATO. A long time ago, my buddy Bekka suggested that a “cat” scent would be a pretty sweet move for DC. You know, when you press your face into a kitty’s shoulder and just breathe, and the kitty just doesn’t understand why you won’t cut that out? Yeah, that scent. At the time I was a bit overwhelmed and I couldn’t deliver. Well, some time later, I was chatting with Yen, DC ninja extraordinaire, to create a custom scent, and she said she wanted something that smelled like adventurous outdoor kitties, who’d spent the days basking on rooftops and rolling in catnip and running through green weeds. Don Gato arose from that request. It’s clean, sun-baked, green-soaked cat. You cat folks know what I’m talking about. This scent is a winter scent because Don Gato enjoys an Australian summer. ;)
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 8
Season: Winter (in my hemisphere, at least)


DON’TGOPLEASESTAY. This is a true “natural” perfume, a slow infusion made with a fantastic cacao absolute, the very finest solvent-extracted, low-atranol oakmoss, crushed juniper berries, cardamom pods, just a tiny bit of ylang-ylang, a pinch of chipotle pepper, and dark vanilla. Think deep, smoky, mossy chocolate gin.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 8
Season: Autumn


DULCINEA. This was a limited-edition Bitsy fragrance, a heady cordial cherry-frosted sugar skully brew, splashed with red wine and dark chocolate and roasted coffee and leather. Its label was a tiny sticker featuring Pilar Acevedo’s artwork “Lollipop”. Dulcinea is reincarnated from time to time in the form of a chocolate-tamarindo-flavored lip balm, and for Falloween 2016 I dropped the cherry for luscious chile mango.
Suite: Sweet
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 7
Season: Autumn


ELECTRICITY SO FINE. A night-black canvas of artemisia absinthum and mosses and blackest tea and port wine, splashed with an electric sizzle of sparkling violets.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 8
Season: Summer


FALCHION. Described as “sex in a bottle,” and often. Dark, earthy, sultry, musky, with a bit of chocolate. Best loved in the fall, when there’s that electric charge in the air and you want to run off and do exciting things with exciting ghouls. Contains cinnamon leaf, and does open with a cinnamony kick.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to masculine
Boss level: 7
Season: Calliope Crash/Autumn




FALTER. Part of my Halloween suite, alongside Wither, Squander, Spurn, and (later) Smother. Startling, misty, herbal, with notes including avocado and ozone and clary sage.
Suite: Wet
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 8
Season: Autumn (Halloween)




FIRE EATER. Odd, hot and spicy. The kind of fragrance you might dig if you're a fan of the smell of burning leaves and gasoline puddles. Not that it smells like those things specifically, but that's the sort of sensibility Fire Eater might jive with. The very first DC scent, it’s undergone a couple of revolutions including a “fizzy grape” version, and I’m toying with the idea of re-releasing a unique edition each year.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 8
Season: Autumn


FISTICUFFS. Punch-drunk honeyed wine, with raw green notes and a rich, sanguine base, speckled with earth and concrete. My name-day scent.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to masculine
Boss level: 9
Season: Autumn


FLURRYLIGHTS. Part of my Two Chords collection. Each fragrance in this series fixes on two distinct fragrant elements, inspired by rare botanical extracts that have been cherished in perfumery for centuries, and balanced with a harmonizing accord with the complexity of DarlingClandestine. Flurrylights’ chords are davana and cognac, fluid and tart.
Suite: Wet
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 7
Season: Spring




GALILEE. A Christmas release, ancient and beautiful, in honor of Joseph of Nazareth. A “natural” perfume—made frankincense and myrrh and mandrake and nutmeg and a flurry of other timeless essential oils. It appeared as a solid perfume only, poured into a gorgeous little carved rosewood box. Folks who bought Galilee its debut year (2012) helped support the Matthew Shepard Foundation, and I was amazed by the love and encouragement I received. In 2013, part of the proceeds went to United Cerebral Palsy, one of the organizations benefiting folks with disabilities that truly "gets it" from a social and civil rights stance, and uses its money very wisely. Thanks to everyone who supported these causes. <3
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 9
Season: Winter (Christmas)


GOLDENSCALE. A pure absolute of green cognac grapes, drizzled with caramel, boozed with deep-toasted vanilla, tossed with crushed clove, spritzed with crisp apple juice, and then enweirdened with DarlingClandestine. The notes sound rich and gourmand, and Goldenscale does begin a bit like a vodka-soaked caramel apple, but as it unfolds it's not quite the foody sweetness you'd expect. It's fresher, mellower, stranger . . . enweirdeneder.
Suite: Sweet
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 4
Season: Summer



GRACE. Eleven different botanical essentials and extracts are featured in 2014’s Christmas exclusive, Grace. Elements include sharp, bright spikenard, the oil used by Mary Magdalene to anoint the feet of Jesus Christ, as well as lively gingergrass, moody Haitian sandalwood, piquant blue lotus, sweet Melissa, mellow myrrh, and that precious oud I scored from a friend in Indonesia. Part of the proceeds from Grace went to help a Midwestern family farm plant their fruit trees, and I thank you for supporting them. <3
Suite: Hot/Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 9
Season: Winter (Christmas)


GRAM-NEGATIVE. I spontaneously decided to create this in honor of a lovely Aussie microbiology major:http://personellietea.com/ Buttery orchid packed deep into rich soil and moss and black tea and green lichens. One of my personal favorites to wear, and I tend to bring it back without warning.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 8
Season: Calliope Crash/Spring


HALOCHROME. A synaesthetic adventure for your skin. I chose “red” elements, “orange” elements, “yellow” elements and so on, down to violet (it’s not violet; come on, that’s predictable), blending so there would be a nice transition between each color shift. I know that’s not easy to conceptualize. Neither is this fragrance. But it's bright. Bright, bright, bright, with deep blues to ground it. She's a rainbow.
Suite: Hot/Wet/Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 7
Season: Winter


HARPY. The “clashing islands” interpretation of the lady-bird-monster. Sea salt and dark bay rum and lime and milk and coconut and a bit of banana. A lovely seaside scent with a bit of a bite. I have the lovely Amber Kayla to thank for requesting such a scent.
Suite: Wet
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 3
Season: Summer


HELLBENDER. A rich, decadent, gourmand delight rolling in a bourbon-soaked winter under last autumn’s leaves. Raw ginger, toasty amber, brassy saffron, deeeeep vanilla. Sometimes you can find it in solid perfume tins featuring art by Matt of OnTheDisk.org.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 6
Season: Winter


HOMESPUN. A special project for Bekka of glostix.net, Homespun is a fragrance that begins in the vein of Cloudswing, and then falls sprawling into dark woods, sprouting with lichens and morels and mint julep. “Rolling hills with deep cut valleys, roads so narrow that falling off the shoulder meant falling seven feet into the bottom of the creek, which flooded frequently leaving you stranded from every direction. A place that indoor plumbing didn't find until the late 80s. But the fireflies were so bright and so populous . . .”
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 7
Season: Spring





INKED. A sting of sea salt and leather, splashes of communion wine, the essence of raw skin. Inked is one of my favorite little sex machines. It MUST be experienced on the skin and not just sniffed from the bottle. Inked is an acquired taste, to be sure, but folks who love Inked LOVE LOVE LOVE Inked.
Suite: Wet
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 9
Season: Calliope Crash/General Catalog




JOY IS A CONVULSION. Part of my Two Chords collection. Each fragrance in this series fixes on two distinct fragrant elements, inspired by rare botanical extracts that have been cherished in perfumery for centuries, and balanced with a harmonizing accord with the complexity of DarlingClandestine. Joy Is a Convulsion’s chords are kewra and labdanum, piquant and resinous.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 7
Season: Spring


KENDRABERRY. Created for a dear friend, this is a bright, effervescent honeysuckle spritzer, tempered with fresh fruits and juniper and green tea and amber and ozone. Intense and feminine, perfect for those who enjoy a more "traditional" perfume but don't like the headiness that comes with a commercial eau.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: Feminine
Boss level: 3
Season: Winter


LA LA LA, ALL RIGHT. I built this scent on Rock’n’Roll. Sun-drenched summer breezes and road trips and cornfields and river and the hot, hot dashboard. This is a very green, very earthy scent, with a similar accord to that of Fisticuffs, minus the sweetness.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to masculine
Boss level: 7
Season: Summer




LIGHT MACHINE. A nostalgic all-botanical blend starring palo santo, marzipan, immortelle, black currant, ylang ylang and a couple of mellow transitions in between. Has a deceptively “anise”-like quality if you’re just sniffing it from the bottle, but you have to give it a minute and hang on to yourself.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to masculine
Boss level: 9
Season: Summer

LIMERENCE. A floral for those who hate florals. Not “oriental” or grandmotherly, but a green, tangy, moody blend of bruised Casablanca lilies, bittersweet succulents, full-bodied herbal essentials, a heady crust of sea salt, and a wonderfully fine mitti attar that’s the essence of first rain hitting sun-baked earth.
Suite: Wet
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 8
Season: Spring


LOVE & SHARKS. Created in honor of the customers who've carried this little hobby so very far. Notes of salty smooth sharkskin, pink and black pepper, true black cherries and apricots and clove . . . oh, man, it's really indescribably wonderful, like all of you. It has appeared ONLY in solid perfume format, with a label featuring a wonderfully hasty sketch by Christopher Key and, after the “Draw the Shark” contest, the winning submission by Bonnie Lam. Love & Sharks requires a complex two-part “cook” to bring the toasted vanilla bits---the “sharks”---to the surface. Though it’s in the “winter” list, sometimes it strikes unexpectedly, and I recommend grabbing it quickly when it does.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 9
Season: Winter-ish




LOVE & SHARKS, BLUE EDITION. Bekka drew this ADORABLE little blue baby shark holding a pink balloon and I HAD to make a new solid fragrance in her honor. The basic accord of the original Love & Sharks, but there's no cherry in this blend. Complementing the salty sharkskin instead is a swirl of blueberries and blackberries, taffy-pull vanilla, aged rum and a dusting of dark cocoa in place of the toasted “sharks.”
Suite: Sweet
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 6
Season: Winter (Christmas)


LOVE & SHARKS, ‘80s BABY EDITION. Another take on the “Blue” version and Bekka’s adorable balloon-holding sharkling, with raspberries and coffee in the blend, and presented for the first time in OIL format as a surprise for Summer 2016.
Suite: Sweet
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 6
Season: Summer


MAD AS BIRDS. Sweet, cool, fresh dew with notes of pear and mint and amber and marigolds, the dark stone of a haunted garden. Mad as Birds is particularly complicated, and its ingredients are scarce, so consider it a rare treat when I bring it back.
Suite: Wet
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 4
Season: Spring


MARE DESIDERII. Luna wanted “something with the moon because my name means moon.” That was all the input she had for me, so I went a bit obscure on her. Delicate, white, watery, ozoney. Water lotus blossoms splashed with crushed white grapes, yuzu and mandarin, pinched with green sprigs of plum. Ethereal and wonderful.
Suite: Wet
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 3 Season: Varied


MAUDLIN & BEDLAM. Dark, warm honey and herbals and wood frosted unsettlingly with weeping green leaves. Something deep and different for you honey lovers (and haters!), with a fresh verdant bite.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 7
Season: Calliope Crash/General Catalog


MAYFLY. Opens in a chaos of bright, deceptively sweet florals, mellows to soft, moody, rainy stone and woods. A dance in seafoam and violet light.
Suite: Wet
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 6
Season: Spring


McFATE. A conspiracy of poplars, sun-dappled and shivering, with the car already athrob. The tiniest goldenest subtlest fire opal of peach. A study in Humbertian longing.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 7
Season: Autumn


McFATE, BLUEBERRY WOODS EDITION (BLUEBERRY FATE). A blue-sedan turn on my Nabokovian creation, McFate. A fresh, crisp blueberry accord blended with the poplars and the peach.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 6
Season: Autumn


MISHIGAMI. Inspired by that greatest of lakes, Lake Michigan, my very favorite lake in the world, and all its moods and shores. Much more than an "aquatic" fragrance, this has indescribable, sandy depth.
Suite: Wet
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 6
Season: Calliope Crash/Summer




MONSTRE DELICAT. Clean, spicy, rainy, moody, wonderful. Sweet blackened fig, rainwater, spiced wood, a haunt of marigolds. The nostalgic longing for storms. It's a watercolor "blue" scent with enough grey and black to take it miles away from traditional aquatics.
Suite: Wet
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 5
Season: Spring


MORDERTEILE KELAH. A magnificent perfume inspired by a magnificent lady with magnificent knockers. Notes of amber, hyacinth, milk and strawberry jam. Spicy and sweet and not cloying, just juicy and delectable.
Suite: Sweet
Traditional gender preference: Feminine
Boss level: 3
Season: Summer


MUSHYFLOWERS. I mentioned "Mushyflowers" as a fake example of a designer fragrance in an interview on Working with Monolids. Now it's totally real. You know how a lot of “almond” fragrances either smell like nuclear cherry cough syrup or like cinnamon-dominated “pralines”? Yeah, I’m tired of that. So I worked on my own interpretation of almond, with a bunch of ingredients that are not almond fragrance oils. And that’s one aspect of Mushyflowers. The other aspect is florals. Floral fragrances are supposed to be heady and sweet and cloying, right? Not this one. For this I was inspired by magnolia. I didn’t use “magnolia” fragrance oil, because I haven’t found one that gets *my* kind of magnolia right. Have you seen and smelled an American magnolia tree in spring? I think they’re so cool because the big, succulent blooms come out before the leaf buds, so you have these striking pale pink flowers on gnarled, spreading silver branches. The flowers are thick and waxy and easily bruised, rather like lilies, and while they do have a heady sweetness to them, they also have a green-ness, a bitterness, a muskiness, almost a fleshiness. That fleshiness is what I wanted. And I used a number of other elements to capture that. So what you get in Mushyflowers is the succulence of magnolia poured over a base of toasted almond. Two hates, mingled into love.
Suite: Wet
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 7
Season: Winter (Saint Valentine’s Day minaret suite)


MUSHYFLOWERS, DARLING BUD EDITION. Mushyflowers with a slightly "greener" floral note than the fragrance that debuted for Valentine's Day 2016. The magnolia is more in the "bud" stage than the full bloom.
Suite: Wet
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 6
Season: Winter (Saint Valentine’s Day minaret suite)


MY LADY SER. I could’ve gone on and on with fragrances inspired by the A Song of Ice and Fire series, but I forced myself to stick with just one. I find the relationship between Brienne of Tarth and Podrick Payne to be among the purest in the series. This fragrance is muddy roads, dinted iron, horses and stables and miles in the saddle, whispering woods, misty fields, a cup of watered cider in a dark tavern, a flash of steel, a breath of wildflowers. But not roses. Never roses.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to masculine
Boss level: 9
Season: Winter




NOOSE JEWELRY. My BFF Akeela suggested that I make noose jewelry an actual thing. I made a fragrance that is an actual thing. A bit harsh, a lot excellent. True raw carrot, mulberry, honeysuckle and (yes, I went there) a nice dirty green patchouli.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 9
Season: Winter (Saint Valentine’s Day minaret suite)


PESTA√ĎAS. A whirlwind of memories, from my grandparents' courtship in Mexico to the home they nurtured together in Illinois, including notes of cotton, tobacco leaf, rose, marigold, leather, machine oil, amber, lilac, pepper, copal, chocolate, wine and pimento.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to masculine
Boss level: 8 Season: Spring


PISTOLAS. My grandmother’s youth in Mexico City. Soft, mellow gardenia and lavender (Abuelita's favorite), with an undercurrent of city sidewalks and just a kiss of tobacco leaf.
Suite: Wet
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine (though it smells DIVINE on my brother, so don’t let the flowers discourage you, fellas.)
Boss level: 2 Season: Spring


POPCREME. Popcreme is LIFE. My most perfect fruity creation, I do declare. It's reminiscent of shaved ice soaked with the retro “tiger’s blood” syrup flavor---tart candy watermelon, strawberry, and a splash of coconut---and then drizzled over with cream, spilled onto a vinyl dashboard, and endrunkened with the fresh, hoppy froth of an India pale ale for your lady grinning soul. It’s bright and effervescent enough that the sweetness is never cloying. Everybody’s afraid of the “vinyl.” Don’t be. The best collections are on vinyl. #popcremeislife
Suite: Wet/Sweet
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 4 Season: Summer


PYROTECHNIK. Bright, chili-spiced cantaloupe on a bold black sky, with sweet woods and earth below. A really fascinating combination, one that does impressive wiles on the skin.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 7 Season: Summer


/R/HUG OF DEATH. OH, YOU ASKED FOR IT AND YOU GOT IT HARD, BABY. THANKS, MICHELLE. Intense black tea infused with a trio of fruits—strawberries, blackberries and sweet red apples—grounded with vetiver and ginger and tonka bean.
Suite: Sweetz
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 5
Season: Winter (Saint Valentine’s Day minaret suite)




RIVET.  Leather lover? This is the official fragrance of Ella’s Lead, purveyor of fine handcrafted leather pet collars. It captures the scent of leather rubbed with raw beeswax, flower bits and all.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 7
Season: Winter-ish


SELAS. Another fragrance created at the request of the inimitable Caitlin of Shiro Cosmetics. She wanted a scent inspired by Denna in The Name of the Wind. Road dust, honey, green grass and heather, the air before a heavy summer rain. I think it turned out pretty amazing. And I finally devoured the books.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 7
Season: Spring


SERPENTINA. Green tea with a smoky opium bite. This is a favorite among customers, one of my simpler blends, and a great primer for folks who are cautious about plunging head-on into the weird world that is DC. It’s fresh and invigorating, and comforting, but has just a little bit of snarl, "a flash of a dark underside", as one customer put it.
Suite: Wet
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 2




SMOTHER. The youngest addition to my Halloween suite, following the tradition of Falter, Wither, Squander, and Spurn. Green, woody natural pistachio (no pudding here), rich moss-covered oak, and a shy bloom of a gloriously superior essence of jasmine grandiflorum.
Suite: Wet
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 8
Season: Autumn (Halloween)


SLIPPERY. Though it has a limited fanbase, this might be one of my favorites in recent years. Wet and spicy, cool and pointy, and other jostled adjectives. Crushed calla lily, cornsilk, wasabi, a quartet of grasping lichens. A really dynamite "upscale" drydown.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 8 (upjumped from 4 thanks to the “cilantro smells like soap” camp, lol)
SMALL SAGA. With notes of green figs and tea and cream and apricot wine, this scent opens deceptively sweet and buttery but then unfolds its complex layers and settles in a tart woody finish. This one sometimes shows up unexpectedly.
Suite: Sweet
Traditional gender preference: Feminine
Boss level: 4
Season: Spring


SPURN. Part of my Halloween suite, alongside Falter, Wither, Squander, and Smother. Fierce and passionate, with bright bursts of pomegranate, tempered with aged wood and haunted by marigolds.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 9
Season: Autumn (Halloween)


SQUANDER. Part of my Halloween suite, alongside Falter, Wither, Spurn, and Smother. Deep and decadent, with rich fruitful notes including clove and nutmeg and sandalwood and ripe red apple.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 4
Season: Autumn (Halloween)


STEP RIGHT UP. Blue-green, spicy, oceanic, fascinating. Very unisex. Created in cooperation with my brother Aaron, the Smeller of All Things, this scent is incredibly nostalgic—customers frequently tell me it reminds them of a certain place and time, but no two stories are the same.
Suite: Wet
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 5
Season: Calliope Crash/General Catalog


SUMMER’S CAULDRON. Created by a special request, this now-discontinued fragrance was heady and sultry with incense, opium, bourbon and roses, orange and spice. It won’t be coming back, but it’s listed here for posterity.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 4
Season: Summer, of course


SUPERNOVA SWAY. If "black metallic" had a fragrance, it would be this. Dark and bright and dark and bright again, deep musks streaked with mint, black resins with subtle flashes of orchid and buttery honeysuckle.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 8
Season: Calliope Crash/General Catalog


TAPADERO. Bold and bright sage and roses, dusky sweet smoke and leather. Very clean, very cuddly, fresh but comforting—open spaces and worn saddles.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 5
Season: Calliope Crash/General Catalog


THE JEWELED ORANGE. The first of two DC summer 2016 fragrances designed specifically for hair. It uses a "dry oil" technology similar to that of Sharkfeather Silk, but much drier, and the fragrance is much more highly concentrated. This perfume is inspired by the deliciousness of neroli, but as you've come to expect from DarlingClandestine it contains many facets of complexity and depth beyond just a single note.
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 5
Season: Summer




THE JEWELED PLUM. The first of two DC summer 2016 fragrances designed specifically for hair. It uses a "dry oil" technology similar to that of Sharkfeather Silk, but much drier, and the fragrance is much more highly concentrated. This perfume is inspired by the succulence of plum wine, but as you've come to expect from DarlingClandestine it contains many facets of complexity and depth beyond just a single note.
Suite: Hot/Sweet
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to feminine
Boss level: 6
Season: Summer


THE MOON IS LEAVING FOR THE WHEELS. The tang of tawny dead grasses, parched by sunset, dampened by first frost. Brooding vetiver, ripe blackberries, sweet Melissa, shy mosses, petitgrain twist. Thanks to the Beccabot for the fragrance name.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 8
Season: Autumn


TILT-A-WHIRL. Bright summer citrus and passionfruit mellowed with sage and other wonders. Juicy and fruity but not too sweet, candy for grownups. Created for the adorable Caitlin of the awesome Shiro Cosmetics!
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: Feminine
Boss level: 2
Season: Summer


TINY ICE BEES. I wove a wisp of damp silk—crisp, delicate, ozoney, watery—with a subtle splash of pineapple and tart green orange and grapefruit. No honey. Come on; that’s predictable. This is a thing that happened in the dead of terrible winter. #thanksmindy
Suite: Hot
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 7
Season: Autumn, not terrible winter


TYTO. For Bridget’s owl companion. Bright, tart pomegranate, blinks of green undergrowth and a tangled suite of woods, including a divinely excellent oud from Sumbawa, courtesy of an Indonesian friend.
Suite: Hot/Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 7
Season: Winter


VARDOGR. This weird little concoction is truly a masterpiece, if I do say so myself. Oh, it's gooood. And weird. Dark, damp, herbal—mossy forest floors, sunken alleys, underground spaces—with a dozen unlikely notes including pure essential German chamomile, bitter black coffee, hazy Indian musks, sharp herbs and a whip of leather. It’s not for everyone. It’s strange. But oh my, is it fantastic.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: Unisex to masculine
Boss level: 9
Season: Autumn




VORTEX. Not your average "winter" fragrance. There's no evergreen, no mint, no "holiday" spice—just a vast expanse of cold, white and blue, frigid, soundless. Stark and invigorating.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 8
Season: Winter


WEIRD CHILD. A limited-edition gift with purchase offered in February 2016. Green walnut flesh, sweet oak leaves, Osage orange, dry corn husk. It was a small batch, and the GWP was a diplomatic way to make it available to as many enthusiastic customers as possible. <3
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 9
Season: Limited


WHAT MANDY MAKES. Mandy requested a scent that evokes "loneliness." Very smoky. Ozoney. Faintest hint of "Oriental" musk. Topnote of cucumber, though there's no commercial "cucumber" fragrance ingredient. Smoky drydown, sweet musky finish.
Suite: Wet
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 8
Season: Autumn


WHITEFALL. A friend requested “a smidge of black tea, buttered oatmeal, hazelnut and maybe some almond milk, and the slightest hint of musk.” I decided to tear it up with the fervor of leathery old Patience from that Firefly pilot. This incarnation is soft toasted basmati rice and pandan, finished with a rustle of horses and a whisper of gunsmoke. This fragrance was on hiatus for several years, so snatch it up while the deal's good. Because I believe that woman's planning to shoot me again.
Suite: Sweet
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 9
Season: I do the job. And then I get paid.


WINDSHIELD RAIN TATTOO. Part of my Two Chords collection. Each fragrance in this series fixes on two distinct fragrant elements, inspired by rare botanical extracts that have been cherished in perfumery for centuries, and balanced with a harmonizing accord with the complexity of DarlingClandestine. Windshield Rain Tattoo’s chords are ambrette and red mandarin, lusty and juicy.
Suite: Hot/Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 8
Season: Spring


WITHER. Part of my Halloween suite, alongside Falter, Squander, Spurn, and Smother. Unsettling, ethereal, with notes including ozone and blueberry and trampled leaves, soaked in black rum.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 8
Season: Autumn (Halloween)


XENON NIGHTLY. My favorite all-botanical blend thus far. All essential ingredients, no synthetics. It's pale green, pale green. Crisp, excellent calendula sweetened with a tiny breath of neroli, balanced with a wonderful galbanum essential extract, a quartet of green herbs and the faintest whisper of precious agarwood.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 8
Season: Spring




YOU COMPLICATE THINGS. The notes are jasmine, vanilla, and sandalwood. Pure and simple, right? Nope. This is DarlingClandestine. The vanilla is not bakery vanilla. Nor is it that acrid, what-the-hell-no-stop-it-that-hurts "perfume" vanilla that's plastered on that woman with the lemme-speak-to-the-manager haircut. NO. It's DarlingClandestine. Expect this fragrance to morph fascinatingly as it settles on your skin. It's an excellent choice for fragrancing your hair as well; just work in a few drops with your fingertips. This fragrance is very, very unisex. It's not masculine. It's not feminine. It's complicated.
Suite: Deep
Traditional gender preference: True unisex
Boss level: 7
Season: Limited


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*abrupt stop, record scratch*


IT’S ALL COMPLICATED.




That’s all for now. Your input and your business make all the difference. Keep being boss, and thank you for keeping this weird little business alive. <3

See what's up my sleeve now: https://www.etsy.com/shop/darlingclandestine

And in the future: https://www.facebook.com/DarlingClandestine

And on the ranch: https://www.instagram.com/darlingclandestine/

Love & Sharks,

Evonne